The Insecure Ladies Man

LOCATION: On the street in front of a five star hotel in Singapore

  It was 9:30 pm on a Thursday. I just had some drinks with some friends and I was trying to catch a cab.
> A 1m92, blond, blue-eyed man, dressed like a lumberjack -oh yes, as if checked shirts and big climbing shoes were considered as so sexy in our decade!-  runs towards me and asks me if I want to go out for more drinks.
Given the fact that I was tipsy, frustrated not to get a taxi, I obviously replied:
   ”Oh my God! Hug me! ”And that is exactly what he did.
  Five minutes later, we were dating.






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We went on three dates in Singapore.

During this time, I called him a “walking STD”, told him that his choice of wardrobe was a disgrace, and admitted that I kept a Sarkozy voodoo doll. Yet, he still changed his flight four times to stay with moi.
On our second date, I decided to take him to Orchard towers - It is a Singaporean dodgy pick-up joint. I can be so full of classy ideas sometimes.… But hey, I got a free class of pole dancing from a very sexy lady boy. Needless to say , it was a lucky strike for both us.
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  On the third, he booked a room at the only six star hotel of Singapore. This room looked liked a rapper’s paradise; There were at least four television plasma. Er …What for ?!
   We kissed good-bye… 
These three dates as he says :”Were the most brilliant diversified dates that any human being could have .”   I could not agree more … more…

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  When he got back to  China, we texted and emailed, but he never called; I should have taken that as a hint...

  In time, he would reply to my texts... But six to seven hours later. I can see myself all excited typing him a message, and then my smile decreasing by the minute... When he eventually replied, it felt like a personal victory! What a pathetic female I was being …

  However as we had planned to meet up in the Philippines, I decided to let it go.
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  Three weeks later, there we were in Manila in a five star hotel  not detaching our bodies from one another.
  We had both gotten tested -Which is in our decade THE proof that things are becoming serious, right?
 (I  know what you are thinking… Calling him a walking STD was not an “innocent”  joke. Nope, it was not. )  In order to impress me, he had gone on a diet- Haha sucker !!!-  and shopping.  What did he buy? White and blue stripes T-shirts obviously… Because are they not a French “zpézialité”? Next time ,bring the baguette with you dude!
FYI , we French women do not get sexually stimulated by a man proudly wearing a sailor's T-shirt... Who would?

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  We stayed two nights in Manila and four on a desert island in the North of the Philippines.
  The place was amazing!  But what made this romantic escapade brilliant was that we had the same sense of humor; We were laughing non stop and joking around. I mean, we hardly knew each other…
  Needless to say that what we were living was a connection beyond money, sex, and all superficialities.

   Then the last day came…
I was moody, pouting and I cried – In the name of feminism , woman  really??? That is a genius move which would not freak out any guy! 

 I took the plane and had the feeling it was over .


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           And it was! Tada !
He had told me it was the first time EVER that he had been on this island.
  The next day coming back from our holidays, I discovered via Facebook that he had brought an ex-girlfriend to the same place…

  Instantly I broke up with him by text message– He was on the plane. Then when he landed, I called him straight away to have a little chat. 

  I am Latin, therefore I get angry very quickly …But calm down as fast.

  In honor of Henry VIII, he acted like a typical British man :
“Oh, my Naomi, of course I have feelings for you; I will call you for now on; Yes, texting has never killed a man; I want to see you again!!”


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  Two weeks later, I got a very politically correct email telling me that things should stop here. There was NO explanation , the tone  of this email was the same as when your boss gives you a really boring task  and you  have no choice but to do it- Urgh, I hate when that happens.
Anyways, little did he knew that, three days earlier, I had sent him by the mail a personalized and humoristic booklet on our ten dates. It was entitled : “Because some stories should be told… and end with humor”. I had made it printed out by a professional . It looked amazing.
 I( yes , I), was telling him in an original  and witty way that it was over.  

 



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Bottom line:

  I meet loads of men. Let’s face it, a French single educated blond expat woman is quite a value on the dating market …And particularly in Asia.

  I fell head over heels for this middle-class Canterbury male. I thought he was hilarious, and most importantly original . Maybe , just maybe, I thought this could be IT!

  He actually ended being my biggest  disappointment… Up until today , I have not found any man who made me laugh as much as him, that stimulated my creativity and imagination…

  Oh well, I still have coffee and cigarettes !

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Characteristics of an insecure ladies man:

Given the fact he does not believe in himself, he will not be able to respect you entirely …
He will definitely leave you a bitter taste in your mouth!
 Anthony when he sent me the email that was six lines long  , he concluded by saying he sincerely hoped it was not too short…!!!
 Of course it isn’t sweetie; If you write more you might  break a nail- We would not want that to happen to you! Oh non, non…
How to play him/ what I should have done…
I should have waited two to three days each time before answering to his texts. And then tell him that my French job schedule was keeping me very busy- Because we all know how French are hard-working people who never go on strike and do not have numerous coffee and cigarettes breaks taken SE-PA- RA-TE-LY.
In the Philippines, I should have organized a facebook viewing of all his albums - Because that would not have been awkward at all.
I should have listened to my best friend who told me that he was a player –No comment.
But if I had done all that , I would have definitely not have as much fun…

So ladies, you can play the game, but you would not enjoy your time with him as if you were just being spontaneous and fun loving  !
Games are for the weak ones and who have nothing else to think about…

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The revenge:

 You had an awesome time with him ; Therefore, create the perfect ending ! Make your own finale in order to keep in mind these great moments! Let’s face it , it does not happen with all the men you meet- Sad but so true.
I created a booklet  tracing  our adventures. On each page,  which represents a date , I found funny (sarcastic) ways to describe our connection, our laughter. To be fair, I make fun of myself as much as I make fun of him.  I wrote that I was cheaper than a Filipino prostitute – Oui, I  paid my share during the vacation.
Thanks to this booklet, I cherish what we had and have NO regret. I would have loved to see his face when he got it … And his colleagues reactions. Yeah, I sent it to his office…

Now the never ending question: Did he call back? Guess what ?
    Non.

But my chin is up, my ego is intact. I NEVER nagged him nor begged him to come back ! And as much as I thought there was huge potential between us : NOT OVER MY SEXY DEAD BODY would I have done that !


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